Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Staying Connected When Your Spouse is Away

Staying Connected When Your Spouse is Away: "STAYING TOGETHER WHEN YOUR SPOUSE IS AWAY
(By Ellie Kay � from an article in Marriage Partnership Magazine)
Any spouse of a frequent traveler will tell you that it seems as soon as he leaves, children get sick, the washer breaks down, or a distracted mom will absentmindedly plow through a partially opened garage door. (We've purchased two garage doors in the past year.)
But the greatest challenge to frequent absences is how to keep our hearts connected when we're apart. Whether through long stints in the military or frequent overnight business trips, time away from home can lead to distance in a relationship if the couple doesn't proactively seek to keep their marriage protected.
For these couples, here are some ways to keep close�even when you're far away.
Before the Trip
Watch out for fireworks. Part of 'Pre-separation' syndrome is that people begin to separate themselves emotionally for what lies ahead. Look for tensions to be high and be on guard for potential fireworks over little things. Simply being aware of these emotions and potential disagreements can go a long way toward diffusing the situation. Karen Evenson and her husband, who's traveled frequently for 15 years, would fight about the laundry before he'd leave on trips. 'I'd get so angry because he'd throw his underwear anywhere but in the hamper!' Karen says. 'We'd get into arguments about it and he'd leave the house on a sour note. Then I'd spend the time we were apart feeling guilty and miserable. I finally discovered where he puts his underwear really doesn't matter. And that discovery has made for better partings.'
Notes-to-go and other sundries. Send a bundle of notes with your spouse. Hide them in a suitcase, a jacket pocket, or even in his spare shoes. Madeline, an airline pil"


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